I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
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Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
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Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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