I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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