This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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