So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
