I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
