Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize