i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think people are normalizing furries
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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