I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize