I am puke
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
