now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Randomize
