Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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