oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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