So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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