Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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