the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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