I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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