I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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