I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
