I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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