I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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