is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
