I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
A bitchslap is in order.
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