a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
