Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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