so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
