And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
