Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize