So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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