I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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