Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im having a threesome with these popsicles
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
