It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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