should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you told grandpa to call you daddy
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
