I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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