So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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