come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
