I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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