Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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