Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
love makes seman taste better
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We talked him into tasing himself.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize