I murdered the dance floor call the cops
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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