this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
