Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
