I wish you could order shots online.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
