she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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