i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
