It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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