I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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