She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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