I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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