Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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