Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
