I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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