Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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