I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
