i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My hand turned me down
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
