Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize