I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
