a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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