so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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