I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
