if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
