hell yes lets make some ravioli
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again