O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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