it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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