A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Please don't give away my fajitas
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
